Wednesday, September 29, 2010

an apology

Something has been making me very sad lately, and I haven't yet figured out how to fix it. But I do want to apologize for it. "It" being the way I've been neglecting my friends. I've been horrible--I've been spotty at best in reading/commenting on blogs and I've been pathetically slow at returning emails (and that's when I manage to return them at all). I have this list of little projects and cards I wanted to make for friends for Halloween--and I'm making ridiculously slow, nearly non-existent, progress on that front.

I don't want to whine and dish out my laundry list of things that keep me from paying enough attention to my friends. After all, we're all busy, arent' we? I just seem to be sorely lacking the organizational skills to find a way to fit it all in...and I swear I've been trying to work on my organizational weaknesses, but I don't seem to be making much progress.

Anyway, it's so unfair that my friends always seem to be the ones at the end of the line. It should *not* be that way. I swear, you're all way more important to me than the tomatoes in the garden...but since you won't rot on the vine if I don't get you canned, I tend to the damn tomatoes first. And a little boy, who after a great start to the school year, is now crying every morning worrying about going to school...well, he soaks up a lot of my emotional attention. And...and...and... But I won't go into all the "ands"--like I said, I don't want this to be a whiny, "I'm overwhelmed" post.

My friends mean so much more to me than it would seem from my behavior as of late. And I am so very, very, very sorry. I truly am.

I'll get my act together one of these days. I promise.

8 comments:

  1. No you won't, and I don't say that as a discouragement, because the truth is none of us really get our acts together, because life is way too complicated to do so! You're just more honest about it than most people. :)

    It was interesting to read the opening to this post, because just last night Jason and I had an hour long conversation about how for the last month or two, I've felt like I'm on the verge of a breakdown, except that I have nothing to break down about! I just feel lost and unmoored and strange and absent and disconnected from everyone. Normally I feel this way in August - I'm used to t hat - but by now I should be in an entirely different mode. Sigh. I don't think I'll ever get MY act together either.

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  2. You know what? I'm betting that none of us would want you to put us ahead of a little boy who cries at the prospect of school, especially when that comes after what was apparently a good start to the year. He has to come first. If we can serve as a sounding board and offer you support, that's fine. Otherwise, we'll be fine here until you can get things worked out and come back. Wafting good thoughts and virtual hugs in a northerly direction now!

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  3. Hugs and more hugs. You just be you and do what you do and keep juggling the glass balls - the rubber ones will bounce. :)

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  4. it seems to me that you DO have your act together! geez lady ..we all juggle different things so stop degrading yourself!

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  5. You are so loved because you're even thinking about it! So sorry to hear about the tears over school. My heart broke a little.

    Big hug and lots of love to you!

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  6. I think you are way too hard on yourself Debi!! Just hearing about your son having a hard time with school is breaking my heart!! We love you and totally understand it all..trust me on this. Plus, no one is keeping a scorecard so please quit stressing out about visiting and such!!!

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  7. If I am not allowed to beat myself up, neither are you. Watch it, I can easily find out where you live and come up there and do something DRASTIC, like make you tea and give you guys. Don't tempt me, missy. >.>

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  8. Sometimes it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and get through each day, and I don't have a kid struggling as hard as yours is right now. Don't beat yourself up - that takes even more of your limited time and energy! You take care of your family - your friends wouldn't want it any other way!

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