Something has been making me very sad lately, and I haven't yet figured out how to fix it. But I do want to apologize for it. "It" being the way I've been neglecting my friends. I've been horrible--I've been spotty at best in reading/commenting on blogs and I've been pathetically slow at returning emails (and that's when I manage to return them at all). I have this list of little projects and cards I wanted to make for friends for Halloween--and I'm making ridiculously slow, nearly non-existent, progress on that front.
I don't want to whine and dish out my laundry list of things that keep me from paying enough attention to my friends. After all, we're all busy, arent' we? I just seem to be sorely lacking the organizational skills to find a way to fit it all in...and I swear I've been trying to work on my organizational weaknesses, but I don't seem to be making much progress.
Anyway, it's so unfair that my friends always seem to be the ones at the end of the line. It should *not* be that way. I swear, you're all way more important to me than the tomatoes in the garden...but since you won't rot on the vine if I don't get you canned, I tend to the damn tomatoes first. And a little boy, who after a great start to the school year, is now crying every morning worrying about going to school...well, he soaks up a lot of my emotional attention. And...and...and... But I won't go into all the "ands"--like I said, I don't want this to be a whiny, "I'm overwhelmed" post.
My friends mean so much more to me than it would seem from my behavior as of late. And I am so very, very, very sorry. I truly am.
I'll get my act together one of these days. I promise.
No you won't, and I don't say that as a discouragement, because the truth is none of us really get our acts together, because life is way too complicated to do so! You're just more honest about it than most people. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was interesting to read the opening to this post, because just last night Jason and I had an hour long conversation about how for the last month or two, I've felt like I'm on the verge of a breakdown, except that I have nothing to break down about! I just feel lost and unmoored and strange and absent and disconnected from everyone. Normally I feel this way in August - I'm used to t hat - but by now I should be in an entirely different mode. Sigh. I don't think I'll ever get MY act together either.
You know what? I'm betting that none of us would want you to put us ahead of a little boy who cries at the prospect of school, especially when that comes after what was apparently a good start to the year. He has to come first. If we can serve as a sounding board and offer you support, that's fine. Otherwise, we'll be fine here until you can get things worked out and come back. Wafting good thoughts and virtual hugs in a northerly direction now!
ReplyDeleteHugs and more hugs. You just be you and do what you do and keep juggling the glass balls - the rubber ones will bounce. :)
ReplyDeleteit seems to me that you DO have your act together! geez lady ..we all juggle different things so stop degrading yourself!
ReplyDeleteYou are so loved because you're even thinking about it! So sorry to hear about the tears over school. My heart broke a little.
ReplyDeleteBig hug and lots of love to you!
I think you are way too hard on yourself Debi!! Just hearing about your son having a hard time with school is breaking my heart!! We love you and totally understand it all..trust me on this. Plus, no one is keeping a scorecard so please quit stressing out about visiting and such!!!
ReplyDeleteIf I am not allowed to beat myself up, neither are you. Watch it, I can easily find out where you live and come up there and do something DRASTIC, like make you tea and give you guys. Don't tempt me, missy. >.>
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is all I can do to put one foot in front of the other and get through each day, and I don't have a kid struggling as hard as yours is right now. Don't beat yourself up - that takes even more of your limited time and energy! You take care of your family - your friends wouldn't want it any other way!
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